With all of the pressure around New Year’s resolutions and goal setting, it can be intense. And, I just want you to know—you are exactly where you need to be.

So before we dive in, I want to say thank you. Thank you for doing this inner work with me. This reset has made such a difference in my life over the years, and I am excited to go through it with you. Now, if you have a friend who could benefit from setting intentions for the new year, someone who is looking for a fresh start without all the extra added pressure, would you do me a favor? Would you share this episode with them? It would just mean so much to me.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we approach new beginnings. There’s so much pressure in January. The “New Year, New You” messaging, it is everywhere, and it has never resonated with me; I don’t know about you. And we are just so targeted every inch of the internet, right? Like, there are so many wellness influencers. And they’re all out there telling us to crush our goals. It is so exhausting. And it just never has worked for me, that kind of thinking.

So here’s what I want to offer you instead: a reset. It’s not a complete overhaul that demands you change your entire life overnight, but a gentle, intentional reset that helps you reconnect with who you are and who you want to be in this brand new year.

So over the next two episodes, I’m gonna guide you through what I call the Be Your Best Self: A New Year Reset. This is something I created several years ago during a really difficult season in my life, and it has completely transformed not just how I approach new years, but how I approach my entire life.

Before we get started, I want you to go to workmuse.com/bestself and download the Be Your Best Self: A New Year Reset Workbook. It is completely free, and it’s going to be your companion through these exercises that I think you will find so life-changing as you approach the year ahead. Having a place to write things down, to come back to throughout the year—it makes all the difference.

I’ll give you a second. Okay, got it? Great. So here is my pro tip: Save both today’s episode, episode 59, and our next episode, episode 60, so you can have the space and time you need to do these exercises, so it’s on your timeline. There’s no deadline for this. This is your personal work.

So let’s talk about why this reset exists and why it might be exactly what you need right now.

The past year has been heavy for so many of us. We cannot control the economy, AI is here and ramping up, job market challenges, and the political climate. There is so much happening that is outside of our control. And when the world feels so chaotic, when everything external is shifting, and it feels like the ground beneath our feet is shifting, the most powerful thing we can do is center ourselves internally.

And that is what the reset is about. Building an inner foundation—this shield of possibility—to help you navigate whatever comes your way. When you get really clear about who you want to be, when you set intentions that align with your values and build systems that support your dreams—that is when the magic happens.

This reset is for anyone who wants to live more intentionally. Anyone who’s ready to stop letting life just happen to them. So, I want to thank you for stepping up and being willing to do this work with me. I’m going to be doing it alongside you.

Today, in Part 1 of our reset, we’re going to cover the first three days of exercises. So what you could do is you could listen to Day 1’s reset exercise, then pause it and do Day 2 when you want. You could do Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 all together. You could space them out over the next couple of weeks. The next episode will come out the week after next. So, you get to choose; it’s kind of like a “Choose Your Own Adventure.”

First, we are going to explore what you’re going to leave behind from the past year.

Second, you’ll choose your Word of the Year. This is the single guiding principle that will anchor you in the new year.

And third, we’ll dive into setting achievable goals using science-backed methods that actually work.

Now, I know that’s a lot for one episode, but we are going to take our time with each piece. And remember, you can pause, you can rewind, you can do these exercises at your own pace. There’s no deadline, no pressure. This is for you.

So several years ago, when I first created the reset, I was in a more than challenging season of life. I’d become the legal guardian to my single mom, who has Alzheimer’s. It was really exhausting and emotionally draining. And I didn’t know how we were going to make it through this all, but I just knew I had to do something different in my life.

I could not just barrel through the new year with the same patterns, the same stress, the same feeling of being completely overwhelmed. So I created the reset—partly for our Work Muse community, but really, I created it for me. I mean, I needed this lifeline.

And honestly, as I was going through the exercises with our community, I could not believe what showed up in my life. It was, like, it was like magic. At any point in time, I would put the thing I wanted for our family, in our life, out there, and (snap), it would show up.

Despite caregiving responsibilities, our family’s budget constraints, which were higher at the time—a lot higher—and despite all the challenges we were facing, we started out our brand new year in Oaxaca, Mexico, slow-living and reconnecting with one another after so much stress in our lives. My mom’s lifelong friends stepped up and stepped in to provide respite care so that we could have family time together, and we could take that time. Opportunities just showed up in ways I never could have predicted.

Did I believe in manifestation before? Was I into “woo?” Not really. (laugh). But this is what I know, I know that getting clear about what I wanted, writing it down, visualizing it, and taking aligned action—it showed up in my life.

And I’ve seen it work for so many other people in our community, too, so I keep coming back to this reset, year after year, because this works.

So before we jump into the first exercise, I just want to remind you: be gentle with yourself. This isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about showing up for yourself with compassion and intention. And if you miss a day, if you need to come back to something later, no biggie. That’s totally fine. You’re doing something that most people will never do. You’re choosing to be intentional about your life and your brand-new year. And that deserves celebration.

Let’s get started with Day 1 of our Reset. As you make Day 1’s decision: What are you going to leave behind?

---

Day 1: What Are You Going to Leave Behind?

MELISSA NICHOLSON: “We repeat what we don’t repair.” Before we can talk about where we are going, we need to acknowledge where we’ve been. And more importantly, we need to decide what we are not going to take with us into the new year.

I want you to think of the past year as a backpack you’ve been carrying. It’s heavy. And throughout the year, you’ve been picking up rocks—big rocks, little, teeny tiny small rocks. Maybe one rock is a limiting belief about what you’re capable of. Maybe there’s a rock that is a relationship that is draining all of your energy. Maybe it’s a habit that is bringing you down, quite frankly, or guilt. Guilt that you’ve been carrying about the choices you’ve made.

Now I want you to imagine walking into a beautiful garden—your new year. This garden is full of potential. The soil is rich, the sun is shining, and you get to decide what to pl ant here. But friend, you can’t plant anything new if your hands are full of last year’s rocks. Let’s put them down.

Here’s what I want you to do. Grab your workbook workmuse.com/bestself. Find a quiet space, grab a cup of coffee, and put your phone on do not disturb. Give yourself this gift of time and space.

Open up your camera roll on your phone, and we are going to take a journey over the past year. I love this exercise. I have been doing this every year, and I think it will open up so much, because we forget what we did all year long—the highs, the lows. Like, mostly the highs, right? We forget all of the good moments.  So start at the beginning of the year and scroll through, month by month. January, February, March, and so on. Write them all down. And as you do this, ask yourself these questions:

What were the most joyful moments? The ones that, like, lit you up.

I know for me, I realized that I for the first time took my first ever solo mom trips. Like, I have no idea why I waited eighteen years after becoming a mom to do this, but I took my first-ever mom trips. The first one was spring break, and it was a mini-trip to Dallas. It was a trip back to Oaxaca, Mexico, to visit my friend Catherine. But I proved to myself that I could do international travel solo. So what were your most joyful moments?

What were the most impactful moments? These may have been important things that were kind of hard, but they were impactful in your life.

What were the hardest moments?

Take your time with all of this. You might be spending 10 minutes on it, or you might be spending an hour. It’s your exercise, so you spend the time that you need on it.

Now, I want you to go a layer deeper. Think about the people in your life, the experiences that you had this past year. And ask yourself:

What people or experiences lifted you up? Who was in your life, and what things did you do that made you feel so good about yourself? And then get really honest with this question:

What people or experiences brought you down? It could be a friendship. It could be a toxic workplace. It’s kind of hard to put those things down on paper, but if you’re going to make positive changes in your life in the year ahead, this is how we do it. And then the big one:

What did you learn about yourself this past year? Maybe you learned that you are stronger than you thought. Or you learned where your boundaries needed to be.

What is one thing you can do starting today to be your best self in the new year? Just one thing.

Write it all down. And as you write, I want you to do something else. Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the new year ahead of you. Picture it having a voice—its own unique sound.

And then think about what does it sound like? Is it a high or low sound? Melodic or not? Gendered or genderless? What does it feel like? What adjectives describe it? Write it all down.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: the new year, it just has a different energy than the one we’re leaving behind.

Day 1 Action: What are you going to leave behind?

So finish this sentence for Day 1’s reset: “I am leaving behind…” fill in the blank. What are you going to leave behind in the new year?

Maybe it’s trying to control things outside of  your control. Maybe it’s people-pleasing or the belief that you’re not enough. Or that you have to prove your worth constantly. Maybe it’s fighting with the people you love when you’re really just overwhelmed and stressed out.

Whatever it is—name it. Write it down. And then I want you to imagine yourself putting that rock down. You’re leaving it at the edge of last year’s garden. You are not taking it with you, friend.

I’ll tell you what I’m doing, and it’s kind of painful to admit, but I’m leaving behind being a martyr and playing small.

Your turn. What are you leaving behind? Write it down.

And if you’re feeling brave and you want a little accountability, send me a DM on LinkedIn. Jump into our Facebook community, Job Share, Live Life + Slay Work, and share it there. There’s something powerful about just naming these things out loud. It makes it real. And plus, there are other people who are going to be doing these exercises at the same time with you, and you’re going to give them a little bit of permission to be brave, too.

Okay friend, great work. It is time for Day 2’s reset: You’re going to choose your Word of the Year.

---

Day 2: Choose Your Word of the Year

MELISSA NICHOLSON: Now that you’ve left behind last year’s rocks and language, and you’ve taken time to reflect on this year’s voice—today is the day. It’s time to choose your word for the brand new year. I love this exercise.

Your word will capture the mindset you want to have, the way that you want to show up. And here’s the thing that I love so much about choosing a word: it is like this north star that guides you.

I’ve been choosing a Word of the Year all the way back to 2021 now, and I can honestly say it’s one of the most powerful practices I’ve adopted. Also, it’s so simple. It’s so easy. You can put your Word of the Year up on a bulletin board where you will see it every day, and it’s just this great reminder.

Here are a few of my past words: “mindful,” “intentional,” and then, in 2023, when I created this challenge, “kinder.” That was the year that I was taking on my mom. And I just knew that I’d have to be kinder. I loved that, and it really took shape.

The last couple of years, I’ve actually done a personal and a professional Word of the Year. So the first year I did that, I think my personal word was JOY, and my professional word was FOCUS. Last year, it was SURRENDER and EMBRACE. I am doing this exercise right along with you, so my words of the year this year, and you don’t have to choose two at all, no pressure at all, one is perfectly fine. I’ve been doing this for several years, as I said. Just start simple: choose one word.  My word of the year is EXPANSION. And that’s my personal Word of the Year. And ELEVATION is my professional word.

You know, you don’t have to put too much effort into this. If you really clear some mental space, it will show up.

Think about these questions:

What made you happy last year?

What areas of your life could be better?

How is your physical and mental health right now?

Think about what word is calling to you. Maybe it’s a word of reflection, like “gratitude” or “presence.” Maybe it’s a word of change, like “growth” or “courage.” Maybe it’s a word of connection, like “listen” or “community.”

Close your eyes for ju  st a moment and picture this new year. How do you want it to feel? What energy do you want to bring to it? What word captures that for you?

You don’t have to force it, just let it show up.

Day 2 Action: Choose your Word of the Year.

So for your Day 2 Reset Action, write down in your workbook: What is your Word of the Year? Make it official. And then here’s what I want you to do—this is really, really important:

Write your Word of the Year on a sticky note and put it somewhere you are going to see it every day—y our bathroom mirror, your computer monitor, your car dashboard. I put mine right on my board, right where my workspace is.

Create 1-2 affirmations using your word. This really cements it. So, for example, if your word is “brave,” you might say, “I am brave enough to try new things and step into my power.” Write these affirmations in your workbook and practice saying them out loud. I know it can make you feel stupid at first, but this works; it is rewiring your brain.

So let me share what some folks in our community have chosen in past years, because I think it will inspire you:

Shelby chose “ACTION.” Mary Kaye chose “UNBOTHERED.” I love that, by the way. Imagine going through an entire year feeling completely unbothered. I mean, I think a lot of us would love to feel completely unbothered right now. Sarah chose three words. Three words: “AGENCY” for personal, “APPLY” for her art show, and “PROMOTE” for her business. And Elizabeth chose “PRESENCE” and “AUTHENTICITY” for personal, and “FOCUS” for work.

Every word is perfect because it’s perfect for yo u. It’s perfect for the person. Your word only needs to resonate for you.

Take your time and sit with it. And when you’ve chosen your word, you’ve got to share it with me. Please DM me on LinkedIn or jump into our Facebook community and put it out there.

Remember: your Word of the Year isn’t about what you want to do. It’s about who you want to be. And that is the most powerful thing of all, friend.

Alrighty, you’ve let go of what no longer serves you, and now you’ve chosen your guiding word, your Word of the Year. So it’s time to turn that clarity into action. Let’s talk about setting achievable goals: Day 3’s Reset Action.

---

Day 3: Setting Achievable Goals

MELISSA NICHOLSON: Before we get started, I will be very honest, as someone who was a resister of goal-setting in the past, I’m going to tell you that understanding the behavioral science and how to actually set goals that you achieve has made a huge difference in my life.

I love this definition from Dr. Elliot T. Berkman: “A goal is any desired outcome that wouldn’t otherwise happen without doing something.”  And I think I love that because life doesn’t just happen to you. You really have to think about what you want, decide how you’re going to get there, and take action.

As a former anti-goal setter, I knew I had to approach this from an evidence-based place, so I dove into the research and found out what separates people who achieve their goals from people who abandon them. And the truth is, most people abandon their goals, those resolutions they set on January 1st, by February.

So you might have heard of SMART goals, but I want to talk to you about SMARTER goals. These are what your goals need to be. They need to be:

S – Specific: Be crystal clear about what you want to achieve. You don’t say, “I want to be healthier,” you need to say, “I want to work out three times per week.”

M – Measurable: You need to be able to track your progress. How will you know you’ve succeeded?

A – Action-Oriented: Focus on what you’re going to do, not just what you want to have happen.

R – Risky: So this is a really interesting one. They need to somehow be in the sweet spot of not so out of reach that you’re set up to completely fail, but just hard enough so that it’s a stretch. You need to push yourself just enough; it needs to be risky.

T – Time-Bound: It needs to have a deadline. When will you achieve your goal?

E – Exciting: It needs to be exciting; your goal needs to light you up.

R – Relevant: You want to make sure your goals align with your values and your dreams. Not what others expect of you, but what you want. It’s relevant to you.

They need to be specific, measurable, action-oriented, risky, time-bound, exciting, and relevant.

Now, here’s where most people really mess up. They focus all their energy on the WHY—why they want to achieve the goal—and they completely forget about the HOW. You have to have both.

The WILL is your WHY. Why does this goal matter to you? What is your deep, personal reason?

And the WAY is your HOW. What specific things are you going to do to achieve this goal? What’s your roadmap?

I want to make sure you know the five goal-setting mistakes that you should avoid:

Mistake #1: Forgetting the HOW. You know WHY you want something, but you haven’t figured out the practical steps to get there.

Mistake #2: Setting too many goals. I want you to pick 1-3 goals maximum . That’s it. If you pick any more than that, you are going to spread yourself too thin. You just want to pick 1-3 goals. It’s all that your brain can keep up with.

Mistake #3: Making your goals too easy or too hard. You need to hit the sweet spot; your goals need to be challenging, but achievable. If it’s too easy, you are not going to grow. And if it’s too hard, you’re going to give up.

Mistake #4: Being too general. “I want to run more” is too vague. You need to have specific goals, like “I want to run the Austin Half Marathon in February.” That’s specific.

Mistake #5: Being too rigid. You need to give yourself a little grace and set a range. Instead of saying, “I’m gonna journal every single day,” if you give yourself a little bit of white space, and go, “Okay, I’m not gonna be like, ‘I’m gonna exercise seven days a week, an hour a day.’ No. You say, “I’m gonna journal three days per week.” Or you can give yourself this range, right? So, “I’m gonna journal three to five days a week between thirty and fify minutes.”

Before you set your goals, I want you to reflect on five key areas of your life. This comes from Mel Robbins, and I think it’s brilliant. I want you to ask yourself, for each of them (area): What was hardest? What did you learn? What will you stop? Continue? And start?

Okay? These five questions for each area? What’s the hardest? What did I learn? What will I stop? What will I continue?  And what will I start?

The five areas are:

1. Health and wellness
2. Career, money, or school
3. Relationships, love, friendship
4. Fun and happiness
5. Purpose, spirituality, and meaning

This is where you really need the workbook. You really need to sit down and write these out. So, take your time with it . Go through each area and really reflect. It’s kind of like the foundation of how you’re going to choose goals that actually matter to you.

So here we are! It is Reset Day 3’s decision:

Day 3 Action: Pick 1-3 goals that you want to work on this year.

Write them down in your workbook. Make sure they meet the SMARTER criteria. And then for each goal, answer these questions:

What is your WHY?

What is your PLAN for HOW you will achieve it?

What are you willing to do, AND what are you not willing to do to achieve this goal? This is important. Maybe you’re willing to wake up early to work out, or you’re not willing to sacrifice family dinners. Name your boundaries.

Break down your goals into micro-actions. What’s the tiniest first step that you can take today? So if your goal is to run a half-marathon, maybe your first step is starting with a mile.

James Clear says: You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

So as you’re setting these goals, start thinking about what systems, habits, and routines you are going to need to adopt—you know, the HOW—to support them. And we will get into that in the next episode, in Part 2.

For now, I want you to have your 1-3 goals written down. Make sure they are clear, specific, exciting, and aligned with your values.

This is all big. Like, goal setting is a huge thing. The goals you set today are just the beginning. They’re a reflection of who you want to be in this brand new year.

---

Melissa Nicholson OUTRO

MELISSA NICHOLSON: Okay, friend. Take a breath. Look at what you’ve done today. You’ve released what is no longer serving you. You’ve chosen your Word of the Year, your guiding north star. You’ve set meaningful goals that actually align with who you want to be in the New Year.

This is huge. Most people never do this work. They just keep repeating the same patterns, hoping something will change in their lives. But not you. You showed up. You did the work. You did this with me, and it means so much to me to share this with you.  To do it together.  And if you know someone—a friend—who could really benefit from this kind of intentional reset for the new year, would you share this episode with them? It’s great to do these kinds of exercises with a friend, too.

In our next episode—Part 2 of the Be Your Best Self: A New Year Reset—we are going to James Clear your year and build habits that stick. And then we are going to we’ll explore the science so that you can manifest all that you want for the year ahead. And then we are going to end with a bonus on Ikigai—the Japanese philosophy for finding a purpose-filled career.

But for now, I want you to sit with what you’ve done today. It’s intentional work, and it takes some time to do this stuff, but it makes such a difference.

If you want to share any of your reflections, your word, your goals, share them with the community. It’s just like that accountability, right?

This journey is not about perfection. It’s about showing up for you with compassion and intention. And it all starts with the choices you are making right now. This is going to set up your entire year thinking about what you want in your life. Visualizing it. Writing it down. Putting it out there. Telling someone about it. This is how your life really changes in the year ahead.

And it all starts with the choices you’re making right now.

I will see you Tuesday after next for Part 2.

Until then, keep showing up for yourself. Keep dreaming big. And remember—it’s all in you.

Bye for now, friend.