Melissa NicholsoN INTRO
MELISSA NICHOLSON: If it’s been a rougher year than you expected, I made this episode for you. We’re just not conditioned to talk about it so I think it’s important that we talk about it and find some support, some mutual support.
Introduction
INTRO: Welcome to Job Share Revolution. The show about job sharing—a partnership between two people to bring two minds and skill sets to one full-time position. I’m Melissa Nicholson, former job sharer turned founder of the first U.S. job share company. But it wasn’t long ago that I felt like an utter failure at work and as a new parent. Job sharing was my game-changer. I reclaimed four days a week to fully engage in my life while my capable partner handled everything. Together, we achieved more than I ever could solo. Fast forward to many lessons learned to bring you the training and support I wish I’d had to change lives and the modern-day workplace. Let’s live life and slay work.
Melissa NICHOLSON
MELISSA NICHOLSON:
Hello beautiful human. Welcome to Jobshare Revolution, I am so glad you are here. You have been on my mind. So, just a little pod recap. I launched Jobshare Revolution podcast in April with the express goal of raising awareness of job sharing, elevating the conversation, and helping more people create their own job shares. A place for job sharers to find some community, and also a place for the job share curious, or the employers and HR professionals who want to find out more about how to harness all of the benefits that job sharing brings to retain and recruit diverse talent. How to use job sharing as a diversity equity inclusion and belonging practice. We don’t shy away from the words here.
I also wanted to get into bigger discussions around gender equity in the workplace and in our everyday lives because job sharing is such a unique practice. One that can help women bypass the Motherhood Penalty altogether. It did for me.
Over nearly a decade of job sharing myself and that same amount of time working with future, current and former job sharers, and companies to leverage the benefits of job sharing, I wanted to bring you a combination of four things: interviews from career experts and job share team leaders—because seeing is believing—as well as value-filled, actionable lessons, and mindset episodes.
It felt great to dive into all four areas and the feedback has been really humbling. Thank you for your incredible reviews and ratings and all of the positive energy. They mean so much to me.
During different seasons in our work lives, meaning individually our work and our lives, and a combo since it’s an ebb and flow, one affects the other… I believe it’s important to acknowledge the season and what it calls for. To listen and get still if needed.
And with that, we took summer podcast pause after our first twelve episodes and Job Share Academy’s spring program just getting started while continuing to provide resources reflective of your summertime season to help you with your career goals, and job sharing, if that’s a goal. We returned from the pause in time for back-to-school season with our Myth Buster training series and our fall Job Share Academy program. But before we get back to our lovely mix of expert and job sharer interviews, lessons, and mindset minisodes, I wanted to have a heart-to-heart with you.
If it’s been a rougher year than you expected, I made this episode for you. I’ve talked on the podcast before about my friend tribe the Ladies of Brilliance, in episode 3 when I interviewed Karen after she went through just a crazy time resigning her job, forced to choose between care and career during the height of the pandemic and her advice to women and where they are now. And not too long ago within a week or two—everyone in our Ladies of Brilliance tribe was feeling uneasy in their 9-to-5. It just didn’t feel good seeing all my friends feeling so unsettled…from the return to office mandates, layoff signals, and one of us being laid off for the first time—it hit home more.
Our Work Muse community and our clients have been sharing the same. They’ve faced layoffs, some even facing abject discrimination, being laid off while pregnant, and significant challenges in the current job market. It’s been really tricky, more than tricky. And we’re just not conditioned to talk about it so I think it’s important that we talk about it and find some support. Some mutual support. And what’s really upsetting to me is that companies have been hiding—hiding behind these algorithmic faceless layoffs so they don’t really have to get uncomfortable and human-to-human talking to the people that they feel helpless in having to let go. That must feel pretty rotten on both sides.
It’s been a while since I worked in corporate, but I worked in a pretty tumultuous industry completely dependent on the economy, media in advertising sales. And it’s not hard for me to remember what it feels like to have your income suddenly impacted, the instability of people quitting left and right, or being laid off, and the huddle-down mentality as a result. That defense mechanism. The backup plans you start making in your head and the scarcity mindset that just can’t help but rise to the surface.
So if you are navigating this tricky job market and time, whether you’ve been laid off and you are hitting your head up against a wall, you’ve wanted to make a big career change but you are just feeling so scared to do that right now, you’re navigating a divorce and getting back in after a career break and this just seems like the worst time to do it…
Or whether you are just feeling really uneasy about your current job with signs you’re seeing that layoffs or harder times might be coming, you are in my heart right now and I want this episode to wrap you up like a big blanket, soft against your skin, keeping you cozy and comforting you.
I know it kind of feels nuts to negotiate your flexibility, especially job sharing, when things feel topsy turvy, but it might actually be the very best time. Just hold onto that thought for now. Stay tuned for an episode with specific strategies to help prevent being laid off or navigate a tricky job search in a creative new way, while building in your flexibility.
But today, I want to just talk to you about where your head is and offer a few ways to think about things that may be of help to you. As difficult as this may be, I want to encourage you to not immediately fall to a scarcity mindset. If things feel unstable at your workplace, I know the kind of energy that permeates. Doing more, without getting the raise to go with it normally. Not wanting to be the squeaky wheel. And if you’re in this tricky job market right now, this is especially for you.
I know it’s hard but once you fall into the desperate energy place, it is really hard to pull yourself out. And it gets harder as the months go on, and so does the job search. So remember, most of what happens in the world is outside of your control. I want you to stay focused on the steps you can take, one foot in front of another, and the things you can control. Get clear on creating a vision of what you want in your career and your life. Put it on paper. Write it down. When you write it down it’s real. Write down how you want to feel, what your goals are, or the kind of work that would really fill your bucket. And the kind of values you’re looking for in an employer. Just like my friend Karen said, “You’re interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing you. You’re interviewing them. You ask the questions. You be bold. You don’t cower. Don’t be afraid.
Also if things get rough, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is OK to take a gap job, just like a gap year in college – knowing it’s a placeholder, while you start putting your real plan into place. Just that little thought. Isn’t that calming that you can have a “gap” job? Just a job that’s a job, a sign-in sign-out, while you’re on the way to creating your plan. Something to think about.
I also find it fascinating how quickly people in your world who love you will unknowingly try to snuff out your self-advocacy, out of their fears for you. They mean well, they really do, but they can be your most unhelpful supporters because they’re not really being supportive. The message is: Don’t put that out there. Be glad you have a job. Don’t be too hard when you’re looking for a job. Don’t be too…fill in the blank. What is it? Direct? Strong? Picky? Difficult? I’ve had clients confide in me that when they’ve put out what they’re looking for on LinkedIn or otherwise in a new job, a new company, or a new boss—for example—their own flexibility—those well-meaning family members or friends have sent them warning messages they shouldn’t do that. Like, don’t do that. Don’t put it out there that you want flexible work. Don’t put it out there that you care for people. that you’ve got responsibilities in your life. That you need to work a certain way to do your best work.
So I do think it’s important when you’re in this spot not to let those folks you love who operate out of a protection space into your headspace. Does that make sense? They’re operating out of a protection space, they care about you, and it’s well-meaning but it is not helpful. So don’t let them into your headspace. Which means don’t confide in them. Find support but through the helpers. Like Fred Rogers said. Look for your helpers. Not the naysayers.
I even went to a former Work Muse advisor and friend who is an HR queen with deep experience. I wanted to know if I was giving the wrong advice to clients experiencing this by encouraging them to be transparent about how they work best and the flexibility they need when interviewing. She said no, and I felt better because here is where I landed with it. Who do you respect? If someone’s hiring you or if you’re applying for a promotion or negotiating your job share right now, I firmly believe you are always better off being strong in your convictions about your expertise and experience, what you bring to the table, and self-advocating for the way you work best. People respect people who respect themselves.
If you interview with someone and the feeling is, “Who do they think they are bringing up fill in the blank.” Maybe it’s a salary negotiation. Maybe it’s a flexible work negotiation. Maybe it’s certain benefits. People respect people who respect themselves. So if you are getting the “Who does this person think they are in this job climate?” vibe, I say run. That’s not the place for you.
I’ve shared that I went back to full-time work after my first job share did not work out. I took my Market VP to lunch. She’d offered me a 30-hour workweek and maybe in another industry it would have been fine, but I was pregnant with kiddo number two with a toddler. And I knew I’d get pulled into working with a baby on each hip every Friday. I knew it. I was adamant that I needed to be able to separate the two worlds, and that job sharing was the way I was able to work most effectively. She didn’t know if she could make that happen. It was a tricky situation. She said, “I can give you a 30-hour workweek, I know I can do that.” And I held to it, I said, “No. Like, this is what I need.” It didn’t happen right then, but I persisted and I stuck to my guns. And it wasn’t just me being thick-headed, it really was what I needed to be able to work effectively.
So starting my second job share during my parental leave and during the recession was just an incredible thing. It gave my partner Ginny and me a confidence that was unstoppable when everybody else and everything else felt so shaky. I did it for my third and fourth partners too—being confident, sticking to my guns, and moving toward my goal.
And I want to go back to what I just brought up about Ginny. We started job sharing while I went on maternity leave. She came in and got to know all of my clients, which was amazing. All of the work was happening seamlessly. She was covering everything, and she was learning them on her own. But when I came back, it was that time when a lot of people had quit their jobs. There was a lot of instability. I mean, my God. Advertisers for the first time that I ever experienced it, big ad agencies with twenty or thirty clients—a lot of clients—just froze their accounts. Indefinitely. For a while, It was very rough. It was very scary.
But nothing could get us down because we were a team of two. The rough times, the rough things that happen when you’re job sharing, nothing gets you down because you’ve got your partner. Your partner is there. They’re your moral support system. They’re your built-in moral support system. And they’re there with a plan and you’re working a plan together. You’re always working on a plan. I just want you to think of that when it comes to job sharing in this kind of weird time that we’re in. And I don’t want to, like, I’m not trying to be hyperbolic about this. It’s not like everybody is getting laid off, but it has really been affecting a lot of women. And it has been affecting a lot of people. And I want to address that because I haven’t done that on the show yet.
I have to admit I haven’t always been a woo-woo kind of gal or into journaling, and mantras and things like that …but, I’ve been through a bit the past couple of years, as you probably have too. The pandemic was hard on a lot of people. And the older I get, the clearer it is to me, that it matters to not just letting life happen to you, but being the captain of it. So with that, here are a few mantras that have helped me I’d love to give you. My new favorite one is from Michelle Yeoh. Here it is “I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you.” all at once or at the start and then, at the end of the day. She is an incredible actress and put her body through so much. And she said that was what she told her body. She said, “I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” She says it to her body. You can say it to yourself.
Another I love came from Amy Porterfield. She says “What is for you will find you.” uses that one and I just love it. And of course Glennon Doyle’s “We can do hard things.” “I can do hard things.”
So I hope this has helped you a bit today if you’ve been struggling a bit. And if you need a supportive community of folks who value flexibility AND their careers, looking for a better way to do this whole work and life thing too, join us in our Job Share, Live Life + Slay Work Facebook community, I’ll link to it in the show notes. Make sure to go to work muse dot com forward slash nineteen. If you have a friend who’s in this not-so-good-feeling spot, maybe share this episode with them. It may be just what they need today. Okay, friend, I’m sending you a lot of love this week. I’ll see you next Thursday, and if you have gone through something like this, I’m going to have some very specific strategies so make sure to catch next Thursday’s episode, same time, same place. Muah. That’s me, kissing my hand and sending it off to you. Bye bye.